Sunday, October 18, 2009

And the winner is ...

Woo hoo 1 year of blooging with my 2angels and 50 followers – thank you everyone who visits me regularly and a special BIG thanks to those who leave me comments.

Without further ado the 2 winners of a RAK from my2angels is ….

Sharon Dalton


Jane Smith – who I might add was the first person to ever leave a comment on my blog way back ...

If you two lovely ladies would email me your address I will get your goodies out to you in the post asap

I also want to give away 2 more packs of goodies to Tracey Hunter and Amanda Taylor who regularly visits and leaves me comments MWAH

I have just been going back through my postings and as mentioned Jane was the first person to comment on my blog and with good reason OMG this was the funniest thing I had read in years so I am posting it again to you all to have another read of … enjoy but warning you may be need tissues (not the sad variety)


Take a moment and read this even if you have seen it before........ if
you don't laugh you do not have a pulse.

Hair Removal.... This is funny. (I don't have a clue as to who wrote
this, but....WHAT A HOOT!) All hair removal methods have tricked women
with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors,
razors, Nair and now...the wax.

Read on.........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner,
play with the kids.
I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the
few hours:
'Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those
'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips
together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press
them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I
mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in
I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,'
yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh.
Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do
Hair removal no longer eludes me!
I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I
sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side
my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching
to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!!
Blinded from pain!!!!....

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and
I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do
I hear crashing drums???
Breathe, breathe.................. OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused
me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.
I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???


Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
I see the hair. The hair that should be on the's not!
I touch.
I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped
upon the toilet?
I know I need to do something.
So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut!
My butt is sealed shut.
Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may
pop off!'
What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in,
the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it
off, right???


I get in the tub -
The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war
or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
the scalding hot water.
Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented
myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone
put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some
secret of how to get me undone.
It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued
together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal
but she does try to hide her laughter from me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking
cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her.
I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side
the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the
wax off with a razor .
Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot
wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm
pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.


It works !!' I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
grief and despair....


So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now.
Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......

Thanks for visiting and please come back tomorrow cause I have some unbelieveable gorgeous things to show you:)
Be safe and take care


amanda73 said...

that is hilarious, no matter how many times i read it it gets funnier each time lol............ and thanks you for choosing me for a rak, you are too kind, and also congrats to tracey, sharon and jane,

CreativeMe68 said...

Ohhh Thank you Tracy...I pop over to your blog all the time but just never leave you comments...I am sorry for this now that you have picked me out as the winner! Thank you, Thanks so much! Congrats to Jane, Tracey and Amanda...
And PMSL at Jane's funny!!!
Will email you my details soon, and Mwah Luv Shaz xoxo

Tracey said...

Thank you Tracy. You have made my weekend :)
Congrats to Jane, Sharon and Amanda. I think we all come to your blog for the smile it always puts on our faces. Love it!
That waxing story is a

CreativeMe68 said...

Hey Tracy I can't seem to find your email addy anywhere can you please email it to me at
Luv Shaz xoxo

Shazza said...

Hi Tracy,

Love that waxing story, I've read it before and it always gives me a laugh......its turned me off waxing, thats for sure!!

Congrats on your 1st birthday blogging with my2angels and I look forward to another year and some more fun and interesting stories from you :)


Jane Smith said...

Hey Tracey, OMGOODNESS>>>NO lovely you are. Thankyou sooooooo much this is very very nice of you. I read it again and again I am in tears...I have mentioned this same story many times to friends!! Just hilarious.